The first impression

It's commonly said that the first impression is the last. Turns out that this couldn't be more wrong. Here's why

Photo by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash

It's commonly said that the first impression is the last.

While it's true that whenever we meet someone we imagine things and even make a preliminary analysis about them, the first impression certainly reflects the haste with which we judge others.

But can we, at the first moment, evaluate the character of others?

Indeed but caution is needed on this first impression as it may lead to false conclusions. For example, shy or reserved people can be considered unfriendly at first glance while mocking or light-hearted creatures may appear only cheerful, in superficial contact.

What is important is that before getting to know someone deeply, we avoid forming firm and irrevocable opinions about their character. Keep an open mind for a possible review of the initial impact that someone has on us.

Take your time before judging others

Sometimes we experience an influx of immediate and profound sympathy for a new friend. However, it's convenient to get to know them better before opening our life and hearts to them

In other occasions we may even feel an immediate dislike for others. In the same way, we must not close the door to understanding just based on a hunch. After controlling the first impulse, try to understand the essence of the other person before labeling them as good or bad.

Emotional Caution

We must learn to use reason in our social life. Neither too close, nor ice cold before getting to know better who arrives in our lives.

An because we often allow great intimacies to strangers who we immediately sympathized with, it's important to remind about emotional caution. Emotional caution does not mean being a bad or cold person. It's just a preventive protection against the world we live in, full of ignorance and violence.

Disappointments

And how to handle disappointments?

For example, we received guest in our house, told our secrets without any caution and then, we felt entitled to say that the new friend let us down. Turns out that people are not always what they appear to be.

Others are what they are, not what we think they should be. No one has an obligation to meet our expectations since the expectations are ours. We are the ones who created them, in our absence of discernment.

We are all fallible because we are human. When we say that someone has disappointed us, we must think that the responsibility for the disappointment is ours. It's us who created an illusion from the other person.

Educate our emotions

It is important that we educate our emotions so we don't expect more from others than they can give.

It is also necessary to know others well before qualifying them one way or another. Only when we perceive their defects and virtues will we be able to identify their intentions.

Final Thoughts

Perceiving the difficulties of others, and yet loving them is a sign of emotional and spiritual maturity. Let us therefore take care of the first impression that others make on us.

With time, discretion and discernment, we will discover the people with whom we have a real affinity. Knowing the other person well is the best we can do to love them without prejudice or unrealistic expectations.

Let us educate our emotions so that we are not driven by impulses.

Adapted from Momento Espírita, originally published on July 13, 2018.

See Also

• The Power of Love
• Weighted observation
• The most important bridge
• Bridge of Life
• A Thinking Power
• Divine Poem

Courage

The moment we live is of great challenges. Do we have courage to bear all the challenges we face? 

Photo by Oliver Cole on Unsplash

The moment we now live on Earth is of great challenges, requiring a lot of courage, to behave according to the Divine Laws.

Courage to maintain honesty when almost everything around us conspires against the right attitudes.

Courage not to strike back at the blows of insanity, maintaining understanding and praying the blessings of heaven for your unbalanced brother.

Courage not to deviate from humility and integrity when, with power in our hands, we do not allow pride and selfishness to take over.

Courage to cultivate moderation and patience when we realize that the difficulties are getting worse.

Courage to maintain patience, even if your heart is beaten by the onslaught of cruel feelings that reach us.

Courage to preserve in serenity when the storms of discord and disagreements roar, threatening to bring us down.

Moral Courage

When we carry the Gospel of Jesus in our hearts, we know that it is not by running away from obstacles that we overcome them, but by facing them with calm, serenity and confidence. We understand that the first virtue of those who trust God is moral courage.

Courage that is necessary to achieve self-discipline to remain in balance in the face of attacks of less noble feelings and attitudes.

Courage that helps bearing difficulties with serenity, making the necessary efforts to overcome them.

Courage to persevere in the face of difficulties, without allowing ourselves to give up.

Our journey, in this life, reserves us many paths to travel, but the peace and happiness that we long for, will only be built with inner courage. And it is this courage that will determine when and how we will achieve our inner improvement, which will be reflected in our individual fulfillment.

The greater the achievement, the calmer our attitudes will be, helping us continue our personal journey.

Final Thoughts

Faced with the most embarrassing situations of his material life, Jesus endured all the injuries, all the humiliations that were inflicted on him, maintaining the purity of the high ideal for which he endeavored to the extreme sacrifice.

Let us have the courage to act like Him, maintaining serenity and moving on.

Let us have compassion of those who have lost their faith and stumbled upon violence.

Let us look at those who despaired and were lost in the revolt.

Let us keep in mind that true courage arises from resilience and calm in times of challenge, suffering and imbalance.

Let us protect ourselves in good. When we are about to utter any thoughtless phrase or take the least action against others, let us pray and be silent because heaven hears us. God will always sustain us in our good efforts.

Adapted from Momento Espírita, originally published on April 07, 2018.

See Also

• The Power of Love
• Weighted observation
• The most important bridge
• Bridge of Life
• A Thinking Power
• Divine Poem

The most important bridge

What would be the most important bridge in the world?

Photo by Everaldo Coelho on Unsplash

What would be the most important bridge in the world? Possibly, many images of mega-constructions have crossed your mind. Despite all of them being very useful, certainly none of them is the most important.

Now imagine a mother with her baby on her lap caressing her while breastfeeding with affection. Imagine a child lying on his father's chest, while he gently rubs his hand over his back. Definitely  touching scenes.

But, what does this have to do with the most important bridge in the world? There is, and a lot.

The bridge of dialogue

Our small gestures are the foundations that will support the most efficient and most important bridge in life: the bridge of dialogue. Many parents are unaware that it is from the very first days of their babies' life that the bridge of dialogue must be initiated.

Parents who know this start talking to the child while he is still moving in his mother's womb. And the baby responds, in its own way. However, when this important means of communication and unity is not built, the consequences can be disastrous, as a precipice can open up between parents and children.

Inattentive to this reality, many parents believe that it is only when the child is young that they should be concerned with an approach. Big mistake!

Many parents despair when they try to take a step towards their kids but find deep emptiness. There is no bridge, no way to approach. The children do not hear them. There is no understanding, only one great and sad distance.

Where did we go wrong? They ask themselves without answer.

Building a bridge between us

Finding the answer requires doing a retrospective of your attitudes towards children, even before they reached the world.

The scenes are almost always the same, changing only the scenery and the characters.

The young son, who still doesn't know how to communicate with words, is extremely sensitive to his parents' gestures. But it is treated as if it were just a doll, without reason or feelings. It is not worthy of attention because he does not know how to express itself. It is a mistake, because the children soon show their indignation by acting with rebellion or violence, or isolating themselves from the world.

For all these reasons, it's important to think about this bridge of affection that connects creatures. It needs to be built with care, using the best feelings of tenderness, attention and respect. The only ones that are efficient and durable. As much as technology advances, we have a thousand modes of communication but nothing can replace the warm dialogue between family members.

Being together is not enough

Simply being together is not enough.

It is not enough to sit in the same chair, turn on the TV and watch a good movie. It is necessary to be together, to feel the heart beating, the fleeting looks, the hidden fears.

Consider beginning the construction of that bridge of tenderness today and bring closer to you those who you love. Do not allow the erosion of indifference to open insurmountable ditches between you and those who we love. Approach body and soul, while there is still time.

Conclusion

When the bridge of dialogue is built on the basis of trust and mutual respect, there is nothing capable of overthrowing it. That way affective relationships will always be preserved. 

Think about it.

Adapted from Momento Espírita, Sep 14, 2018.

See Also

• Weighted observation
• The poetry of life
  
• A Thinking Power
• Poverty and Wealth
• Divine Poem