12 Important Lessons for Parents

Educating a child is no easy task. Learn from these 12 important lessons how to educate your children to form a better world and guide them to a life of greater happiness  

Photo by Jude Back on Unsplash

In the education process, it is common to hear parents asking themselves where they went wrong or why have their children taken the wrong paths, far from those idealized by them.

In order to allow more thoughtful reflections on this important topic, we aligned some points of prominence in dealing with children, which are not always taken into account.

Examples at Home

Consider the importance of example at home. The child follows models and the closest and most constant ones are the parents. Those who they live every day during the first phase of their lives.

Discipline

Children are not trinkets to be admired and displayed. They are beings that need discipline and affection for the formation of character from an early age.

Parents' Responsibility

No one replaces parents in their responsibilities to their children. No matter how dignified the professionals are and no matter how well paid, they will never be able to provide the assistance that maternal love and paternal security give them.

Let them Live

Children are not satellites that will remain around their parents, indefinitely. Created for progress, they walk on their own path, with personal attitudes and thoughts. They are immortal spirits, who transit the world, in search of a greater objective.

Money, Work and Cooperation

Children can earn allowances and facilities, however, always with a spirit of justice. And, even though your condition may be abundant, one must not forget the need to encourage them to work and cooperate, as much as possible.

Never Overestimate Them

With the excuse of being intelligent, never encourage them to overestimate their own value, remembering the lessons of correct conduct by the branches of humility, since no one has all knowledge.

Be Impartial

Cultivating preferences, as well as welcoming intrigues, rebuking one, insistently, and failing to correct the other, is a path that can cause misconduct among the children, generating jealousy and disagreement.

Career Choice

Never impose a particular professional career on children, without observing the trends, which must be respected.

Be Honest

Always keep in mind that honest explanations around the world and life are the best way, avoiding surrendering children's minds to superstitions and excesses of fantasies.

No Prejudice

Do not to force the little ones to harbor prejudices, teaching them, on the contrary, to respect the harmony of the differences that the world presents.

Marriage

Do not compel children to marry or stop marrying, or frustrate their freedom of choice for a partner.

Final Thoughts

Let us not forget that, as loving parents and interested in the well-being of our children, they are our partners in this experience.

They may be friendly or opponents. They can be creditors who arrive for adjustments or debtors who knock on the door of affection, asking for forgiveness and help.

But, independently of the circumstances, let us keep in mind that we will meet again in the Greater Life, as brothers and sisters before the unique fatherhood of God.

Adapted from Momento Espírita, originally published on April 9, 2014.

See Also

• The Power of Love
• Weighted observation
• The most important bridge
• Bridge of Life
• A Thinking Power
• Divine Poem

Practicing Kindness

Being kind is the secret to being happy and healthy. Would you know why?

Photo by Matt Collamer on Unsplash

That morning, like most others, the train was packed. A lot of impatient people complaining about everything and everyone made the atmosphere not only stuffy, but also unbreathable.

It was when, with great difficulty, an elderly woman entered the vehicle and leaned on the seats as she could. The predictable happened as an elderly person enters crowded public transit: most of those seated sleep as quickly as possible.

However, a six-year-old boy, nudged his father for permission to leave the place where he was. The father, indifferent, told him to stay seated. But the boy, aloud, invited her to come and sit in his place.

An awkward silence ensued in the collective, while the lady, gratefully, took the seat offered to her.

Kindness and Happiness

We have observed that, in the midst of countless possibilities of choice, those who opt for cooperation and ethics build healthier and more lasting relationships.

Being kindness a form of love, studies have shown that kind people increase their happiness because this virtue is linked to the gene that releases the hormone responsible for well-being, dopamine.

A popular saying says that kindness breeds kindness.

Kindness turns out to be contagious too, motivating others to be equally kind. When we are kind to others, we contribute to making the environment in which we live better.

Kindness is also a form of attention, respect and love. Kind people show courtesy, are polite and attentive making their relationships more human and irradiating those feelings to those around them.

Kindness and Health

Another benefit of being kind is that due to our pre-disposition to help others, we are likely to improve our mental health. Our immune system tends to be better, because there is a direct relationship between well-being, happiness and health.

In other words, when we are kind we help and care for others and for ourselves.

Putting ourselves in the other's place is always the best way to act. By being attentive to the needs of other, we conquer the awareness that what makes us happy and make others happy too.

Final Thoughts

Let us be kind giving our best to others and we will see how more complete and happy we'll be.

As kindness stems from the awakening of conscience, when we are willing to develop this virtue we also gain joy, lovingness, affability, friendship, tenderness, gratitude, respect, tenderness and tolerance.

The gesture of kindness is undoubtedly a big step towards changing a situation of neglect, indelicity or indifference this world so much needs.

Think about it!

Adapted from Momento Espírita, originally published on October 07, 2017.

See Also

• The Power of Love
• Weighted observation
• The most important bridge
• Bridge of Life
• A Thinking Power
• Divine Poem

Prohibitions

Why are certain things prohibited? Why impose restrictions? Could a prohibition be a sign of Love?

Photo by Marcial Bollinger on Unsplash

When we are children, we use to hear the word no a lot. For example:

• Do not put your finger in the socket.
• Don't bite your brother.
• Do not take cold.
• Don't go there because it's dangerous.
• Do not do it.
• Do not do that.

Parents use a list of prohibitions to save and protect their children from the evils that could befall them as a result of certain actions.

The younger the child, the less able to understand the extent to which certain attitudes can generate. The parents, then, do not negotiate. They impose prohibitions to preserve themselves from dangers and suffering, both to themselves and to those around them.

As the child matures, the ability to understand grows. The more mature, the greater the sense of the relationship between cause and effect.

Not putting the finger in the socket makes sense because the shock will cause pain. Not biting the brother is understandable because, in addition to causing pain in the other, there may be retaliation. Not taking cold protects you from getting sick and bedridden.

In summary, that list of prohibitions has the character of preserving pain and evil, a sign that parents care and love their children.

A balanced life

When Humanity was in its infancy, out of barbarism, God, Father of infinite love, sent, through Moses, a list of rules for a more balanced life and a harmonious coexistence on Earth.

This list contains the Ten Commandments and, among them, several prohibitions:

1. You shall not take the name of the Lord your God in vain.
2. You will not kill.
3. You will not commit adultery.
4. You will not steal.
5. You will not say false testimony against your neighbor.
6. You will not want the next man's wife.
7. You shall not covet your neighbor's house, nor his servant, nor his handmaid, nor his ox, nor his donkey, or anything else that belongs to him.

At that time, Humanity was unable to understand the scope of these rules.

It was not aware that these commandments brought the essence of the Divine Laws, the only knowledge necessary for happiness. God has put these laws in our own consciences to guide us towards good. With discernment, we know what we must or not do and are guided to happiness when we follow them, or to unhappinness whenever we violate them.

In the same way that some children defy their parents and violate the rules suffering later, many of us also refuse to follow the Divine Laws. Our immaturity and rebellion against these laws is what causes sufferings for ourselves and for others around us.

Final Thoughts

The only way to live a peaceful and happy life is to not see these prohibitions as authoritarian, but as proof of love.

Those who don't fight with God and its Laws, know that doing so will only make them suffer. They understand that God is a loving Father, waiting for His children (us) to mature and to love and understand these Laws that rule the Earth and the whole Universe.

And God knows that when that happens, no prohibition will be necessary as human beings will act with conscience always aiming for the good of everything and everyone.

Adapted from Momento Espírita, originally published on April 19, 2016

See Also

• The Power of Love
• Weighted observation
• The most important bridge
• Bridge of Life
• A Thinking Power
• Divine Poem

When I won my Parents

It doesn't matter if we were planned or not. Our parents had us but we won them.

Photo by Natalya Zaritskaya on Unsplash

That seemed to be more of a simple school task for an eight-year-old girl. The handout had problems to be solved and several questions on different subjects.

However, on the last page there was this task: "Make a drawing that represents a remarkable fact of your life."

The young girl drew a woman with a baby in her arms and, beside her, a man, both smiling. Above the scene written in a neat handwriting was: "When I won my parents."

How to contain the tears before such a simple declaration of love?

The girl remembered, with affection, that she had arrived at that loving home, just over eight years ago, through the blessed way of adoption. It was one of the first moments when the little heart thanked God for the opportunity to have a loving family on Earth.

Other children remembered trips, Christmas gifts and trips. Nothing close to how she thanked her parents:

When I won my parents, I also gained the certainty of being loved

When I won my parents, I was flooded with willpower, the desire to get it right and to love too.

When I won my parents, I decided to give love one more chance, and then another, and then another ...

When I won my parents, that's when I really felt protected ...

Be Grateful

Do you remember when you won your parents?

Yes, they are the greatest gift we receive when we are born. We may not yet understand this well, but time and memories will help us understand how everything makes sense.

We all won our parents. And they are not just any parents chosen by the force of randomness, they are the parents we needed, when we needed them.

Let us be grateful for having parents, for our life, for our family, for the love that was given to us, for living a respectful life, for learning so much from their examples. Gratitude is good for everyone. It is good for those who carry it in their hearts. It is good for those who receive it as unexpected fragrant flowers that fall on their hands and make life happier. 

Final Thoughts

Why wait to say thanks? Why wait for that special occasion to acknowledge and express our gratitude to our parents? Why are we so embarrassed to say: "you are important to me, I love you very much!" 

Why be ashamed to love and to say thank you?

Thank your parents while there is time. Thank them still today.

Adapted from Momento Espírita, originally published on August 13, 2016.

See Also

• The Power of Love
• Weighted observation
• The most important bridge
• Bridge of Life
• A Thinking Power
• Divine Poem

Unfinished Projects

For how long have you procrastinated on that project? For how long will you still procrastinate?

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It is part of human nature to dream and idealize the most varied achievements.

A very common habit is the list we make at the beginning of each year, the famous New Year's proposals. We usually list habits to be abandoned, courses to be started and virtues to be acquired. Reasonable proposals and, in most cases, necessary for our development.

However, even before the first week of the year is over, the list is abandoned in the drawer, along with the sincere willingness to change that inspired it. Once again, all the the changes we promised to ourselves go into oblivion.

Whom do we hope to deceive?

But whom do we hope to deceive?

These abandoned projects can be anything: unconfessed loves, unfulfilled promises, abandoned dreams, songs never performed, flowers that have not bloomed, children who were not born, boats that never reached the sea, texts without period, work that never left the drawing board.

The days go by fast so remember that while we spend our days postponing projects, delaying starts and canceling changes, what could happen voluntarily ends up becoming mandatory.

One day, life will charge us for things we were supposed to achieve that we never carried out. What achievements will these be? Great achievements? Resounding achievements? Probably not.

Which project to complete?

Everyone has an unfinished project, so which one should we complete first?

In theory, each of us knows what is the urgent and most feasible at this time. However, it's important to remember that the most significant changes we can make is taming our own imperfections.

We argue that it's so hard to beat old habits, however, it's even more difficult to live with unhappy habits that bitter our lives and that of those around us. It is time to abandon the excuses that have served us on crutches for so long.

Final Thoughts

May today be a significant mark in the timeline of our lives.

It doesn't matter what day of the week it is or what month of the year we are in. There is no reason to wait for another opportunity.

Chances are like breezes that come and go quickly. Let us not remain stationary while life calls us to do good. Courage and willingness will be the inspiration we lacked.

Not tomorrow, but today. Not later, but from now on.

Adapted from Momento Espírita, originally published on June 10, 2016.

See Also

• The Power of Love
• Weighted observation
• The most important bridge
• Bridge of Life
• A Thinking Power
• Divine Poem

When did we forget?

Most of us come from virtuous families so why so many of us become corrupt politicians, bad professionals and beings who only think about themselves?

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In an interview, a young woman said that she was about seven years old when she went to the grocery store near her with her mother. While the mother did the shopping, she, the girl, hid a candy in her pocket.

On the way out, feeling like the smartest girl in the world, the girl showed the candy to the mom and said: Look, I took it without paying.

She received a stern look back. The mother took her by the hand, returned to the market, had her return the candy and asked her to apologize. The girl cried so much from being ashamed but now, years later she understands that that gesture taught her the value of honesty.

Childhood Education

It is possible that several of us have had similar experiences, so we ask: when did we forget the lesson? What made us forget our childhood education?

Childhood is the period in which the human being is mostly malleable to the construction of the self. It is the period when the education given by parents have more weight because after all, they know everything. It is the period where examples speak much louder than words.

How many of us, still had teachers who taught us to be responsible, disciplined and correct? Teachers who devoted their lives to teaching with their own examples? 

Why did we forget?

So why did we leave those noble lessons behind?

If most of us came from homes where we were taught virtues, what made us despise honor and honesty? Why so many of us become corrupt politicians, bad professionals, beings who only think about themselves?

So here are some points that you probably learned in your childhood that are worth reflecting:

• Do not take anything that does not belong to you.
• If you find an object, look for the owner because he must be missing it.
• Respect your neighbor, your space, your property.
• Public goods belong to the people and everyone should benefit from them. No one has to take for themselves what belongs to everyone.
• Respect the domestic servant, the postman, the garbage man. They are valuable contributors to our lives.
• Remember to thank the diligent work of those who delicate their lives to the public.
• Greet peoples smile.
• Give up your place, in the collective, to the elderly, to people with special needs, to pregnant women, to those who carry small children in their arms.
• Give way to traffic, wait a second longer for the pedestrian to complete the crossing, before starting off with speed, just because the signal has opened.

Final Thoughts

Laws are created so that by obeying them, we live better as a society. Let us make a return to childhood and remember the virtuous examples given to us by our parents and our teachers.

The world of tomorrow awaits our correct actions today. Now.

Adapted from Momento Espírita, originally published on August 04, 2015.

See Also

• The Power of Love
• Weighted observation
• The most important bridge
• Bridge of Life
• A Thinking Power
• Divine Poem

The next big revolution

The next big revolution is already here, in our homes. Would you like to be part of it?

Photo by Piron Guillaume on Unsplash

In silence, the grandmother watched the behavior of her three and four-year-old grandchildren, in front of their father's notebook.

From where she was, she could see the little hands acting on the keys.

She noticed, surprised, the calm way in which the boy taught the little girl to find, on the Internet, the cartoon she wanted to watch.

As a good teacher, he indicated what she should do, letting her press the keys while searching of what she wanted, leaving her little fingers until she succeeded.

Then she turned to her brother and said: Thank you! It's easy. I've already figured out how to do it. You can leave that with me now. I can do it alone...

Checking the speed of learning and the resourcefulness of the little girl, the grandmother started to think about her own limitations with some of the current technologies. She recalled the difficulties in finding the right keys, memorizing the actions, answering an email, sending a message.

Impressive, she concluded, how easy it is for the little ones to absorb the news, adapt and interact with technology. She rested her eyes on the magazine and returned to her article.

The next big revolution

The next big revolution will not be technological. Instead, It will be moral, and led by evolving humans who are currently in our homes, in our laps!

This generation of humans is very different. They are very fast in their cognition. Deeper in their way of translating the world and feelings. And his notion of ethics and morals is more refined than ours.

In fact, today we often see scenes of great respect and, spontaneously, among children. The affection shown with animals, plants, sick and poor leaves us in awe.

And these awake-minded little ones, who learn everything around them will take real advantage of science and technology. They are souls who bring in themselves the elements for transformation, for the true revolution that will take place on Earth, for the benefit of all.

Moral revolution, in which the ethics they bring vigorously will spread, nullifying the current human hypocrisy.

Final Thoughts

We need to ask ourselves what kind of parents we are. How we are educating those souls who come into our arms, for the goodness of Heavenly Father.

May we be able to give the necessary support and much love to this generation because we will be responsible for the tone and gift that they will use in this revolution!

Fathers and mothers, may we value the trust of the Heavenly Creator, who gave us his children, possibly able to transform the Earth's scenery.

For this very reason, from the cradle, we need to offer them examples of the good, of love, of respect, so that you do not deviate from the planned route. We need to lead them to school, offer them precious instruction, let them express themselves in art, in science and sport.

However, above all, let us not forget to teach them to pronounce the name of God with anointing. Teach them to elevate their thoughts in prayer so they can learn how to dialogue with the Father and Creator by themselves.

Adapted from Momento Espírita, originally published on April 23, 2016.

See Also

• The Power of Love
• Weighted observation
• The most important bridge
• Bridge of Life
• A Thinking Power
• Divine Poem

We can count on our loved ones

Can someone feel our emotions without us saying a single word?

Photo by Jude Beck on Unsplash

It had been a very difficult week for him. As a dedicated and responsible businessman, he faced multiple complications in the small organization which already had more than two decades of existence.

After another sleepless night, one of those we stay awake all night trying to find solutions to our problems, he took his youngest daughter - five at the time - to school. The girl's joy made him forget, for a few moments, all the battles that awaited him. A brief rest for that warrior soul.

They stopped the car and and as always he took her to the entrance of the educational institution. They were going to say goodbye when she suddenly burst into tears and hugged him tightly.

She never complains about going to school, he thought. What happened?

After a few moments, unable to speak, she said to him: Daddy, I want to go to work with you! - And continued to embrace him still in tears. He understood the reason for weeping, and he was also moved. Even without him saying what was going on inside her, she had realized that her beloved father's heart was sad.

Not knowing how to express her desire to help, to make him happy again, to comfort him, she proposes to go to work with him.

What a beautiful and simple expression of love. That type of love which wants to see those around us well, happy and in peace.

And what could be more pure than a child's expression, saying to his father: I'm here, I want to help, don't be like this.

Invisible vibrations

We radiate everything that goes into our soul without even realizing. We may try to hide behind the silence but we emit invisible vibrations constantly and those sensitive enough can capture it. Those who love us, who care about us, are attentive, and willing to help will certainly do.

And yet, on many occasions, the Divine Providence makes use of those around us to send us advices, friendly words and issues of affection.

Yes, the Creator speaks to us in the most different ways possible. It is up to us to know how to hear Him.

In the daughter's proposal mentioned earlier, perhaps it was God's embrace saying: I know that the battles are many, and that sometimes you feel weak, helpless. But know that you are not alone. Those who love you, in My name, are at your side.

There is no victory without a battle. There is no conquest without fights. The warrior who deserves rest and triumph is one who stands firm, and who follows through.

Final Thoughts

At the same time that we are surrounded by challenges and struggles, we are supported by the love of Divine Laws. We are never abandoned, although we often think that our struggle is lonely. We can count on the safe haven of the family, on the true friendships, and have the confidence that everything will end well.

Let us try to always tune in to the highest spiritual planes, through positive thoughts and sincere prayer, so that we can more easily receive the necessary assistance.  Let us observe life around us. Do not allow ourselves to close in the lonely caves of distress, anxiety, and self-terrorism.

The many fights will be worth it. Be sure of that.

And for those who think that life is made up of uncertainties and easily despair, here's another comforting certainty - we can always count on our loves.

Adapted from Momento Espírita, originally published on April 02, 2018.

See Also

• Weighted observation
• The most important bridge
• Bridge of Life
• A Thinking Power
• Divine Poem
• Poverty and Wealth

A Poem to God

Would you be able to imagine what a soul would write to God?

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One day, a soul awakens and delights itself with the morning that stretches on the horizon. It feels as if it is hovering above and beyond the human scale. It remembers being the daughter of a loving and good Father, a Creator who provides everything for everyone. Full of gratitude, it says this verse:

God, intelligence of intelligences, cause of causes, law of laws, principle of principles, reason of reasons, conscience of consciences. Isaac Newton was right to discover himself, every time he spoke Your Name.

God, kind Father, I find you in nature, your daughter and our mother.

I recognize you, Lord, in the poetry of Creation, in the wind that strums harmonies in the hair of the trees.

In colors that are so diverse in hues and gradations.

In the rolling waters, silent, in tiny streams, in the noisy waterfalls, of considerable heights, in the green of the grass that carpets the garden and the squares.

I recognize you, Father, in the flower of gardens and orchards, in the grass of the valleys, in the hue of the fields, in the breeze of the meadows.

Lord, I find you in the scent of the fields, in the murmur of the fountains, in the rumble of the smallest branches of the treetops.

I also discover you in the music of the woods, in the placidity of the lakes, in the pride of the mountains, in the expanse of the oceans, in the majesty of the firmament.

I see you, Lord, in the child who smiles, plays, jumps and spreads joy and laughter.

I recognize you, Father, in the old man who walks slowly, who stumbles. But, above all, in the intelligence he reveals, the result of his well-lived experiences.

I discover you in the beggar who begs, in the helping hand, in the mother who watches, in the father who instructs, in the apostle who evangelizes.

God! I recognize you in my wife's love, in my son's affection, in my sister's esteem, in your indulgent mercy.

And I find you, Lord, in the faith of what you have, in the hope of the peoples, in the charity of the good, in the integrity of the whole.

I recognize you, Lord, in the inspiration of the poet, in the eloquence of the speaker, in the creativity of the artist.

I also find you in the wisdom of the philosopher, in the intellectuality of the scholar, in the fires of the genius!

And you are still in the polar dawns, in the silvery of the moon, in the brightness of the sun, in the brightness of the stars, in the brightness of the constellations.

God! I recognize you in the formation of the nebulae, in the origin of the worlds, in the genesis of the suns, in the cradle of the humanities, in the wonder, in the splendor, in the sublime of the infinite!

Finally, I understand when Jesus prays "Our Father who art in heaven..."  or when angels sing: "Glory to God on high..."

May you find peace you look for in your heart! 🌹🧡🙏

Adapted from Momento Espírita, originally published on September 12, 2016.

See Also

• Weighted observation
• The most important bridge
• Bridge of Life
• A Thinking Power
• Divine Poem

The most important bridge

What would be the most important bridge in the world?

Photo by Everaldo Coelho on Unsplash

What would be the most important bridge in the world? Possibly, many images of mega-constructions have crossed your mind. Despite all of them being very useful, certainly none of them is the most important.

Now imagine a mother with her baby on her lap caressing her while breastfeeding with affection. Imagine a child lying on his father's chest, while he gently rubs his hand over his back. Definitely  touching scenes.

But, what does this have to do with the most important bridge in the world? There is, and a lot.

The bridge of dialogue

Our small gestures are the foundations that will support the most efficient and most important bridge in life: the bridge of dialogue. Many parents are unaware that it is from the very first days of their babies' life that the bridge of dialogue must be initiated.

Parents who know this start talking to the child while he is still moving in his mother's womb. And the baby responds, in its own way. However, when this important means of communication and unity is not built, the consequences can be disastrous, as a precipice can open up between parents and children.

Inattentive to this reality, many parents believe that it is only when the child is young that they should be concerned with an approach. Big mistake!

Many parents despair when they try to take a step towards their kids but find deep emptiness. There is no bridge, no way to approach. The children do not hear them. There is no understanding, only one great and sad distance.

Where did we go wrong? They ask themselves without answer.

Building a bridge between us

Finding the answer requires doing a retrospective of your attitudes towards children, even before they reached the world.

The scenes are almost always the same, changing only the scenery and the characters.

The young son, who still doesn't know how to communicate with words, is extremely sensitive to his parents' gestures. But it is treated as if it were just a doll, without reason or feelings. It is not worthy of attention because he does not know how to express itself. It is a mistake, because the children soon show their indignation by acting with rebellion or violence, or isolating themselves from the world.

For all these reasons, it's important to think about this bridge of affection that connects creatures. It needs to be built with care, using the best feelings of tenderness, attention and respect. The only ones that are efficient and durable. As much as technology advances, we have a thousand modes of communication but nothing can replace the warm dialogue between family members.

Being together is not enough

Simply being together is not enough.

It is not enough to sit in the same chair, turn on the TV and watch a good movie. It is necessary to be together, to feel the heart beating, the fleeting looks, the hidden fears.

Consider beginning the construction of that bridge of tenderness today and bring closer to you those who you love. Do not allow the erosion of indifference to open insurmountable ditches between you and those who we love. Approach body and soul, while there is still time.

Conclusion

When the bridge of dialogue is built on the basis of trust and mutual respect, there is nothing capable of overthrowing it. That way affective relationships will always be preserved. 

Think about it.

Adapted from Momento Espírita, Sep 14, 2018.

See Also

• Weighted observation
• The poetry of life
  
• A Thinking Power
• Poverty and Wealth
• Divine Poem